Calling It Like It Is by Chris White

“And it came about as her soul was departing (for she died), that she named him Ben-oni; but his father called him Benjamin.”  (Genesis 35:18)

 Rachel was exhausted and in the process of dying after a particularly difficult child birth when she named her baby boy “son of sorrow (Benoni)”.  The name was certainly accurate given the circumstances of his birth but it was only accurate according to his mother’s perspective.  She was in anguish leaving her husband (to his three other wives) and her newborn without a mother.  But Jacob wisely never made his son bear that burden and instead renamed him “son of my right hand (Benjamin).”  This too was an accurate expression of the very same situation.  Not having a mother and being the youngest of 11 other siblings, Benjamin was to become very close to his father being a particular comfort to him in his old age.  I think there are two powerful life lessons here: first, our personal, existential pain is never an accurate gauge of reality.  In the moment of tragedy (and they always come in moments not lifetimes) we all see through a glass darkly.  But that doesn’t diminish the reality that God has come, has redeemed us, and is doing away with the curse once and for all.  All will be well in the unfolding of history even if in this moment life really hurts.  Secondly, we should be very cautious in how we name anything.  It’s fairly common knowledge that people tend to live up (or down) to the names and nicknames we give them.  But more than that, how do you describe your trials?  How about your aches and pains?  Are they “horrible”, “excruciating”, “unbearable” and “devastating”?  Our descriptions can also set a tone that is out of sync with reality and actually make life more miserable (for ourselves and others) than it has to be.  Like Rachel we can get caught in the trap of making something out to be much worse than the situation warrants. Try speaking to yourself and others in terms that speak the truth, yet not apart from the reality that God is for us and with us in every circumstance.